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Grandmotherfucker & The Seducers

nytheatre.com review by Liz Kimberlin
August 15, 2005

I suppose Grandmotherfucker & The Seducers took me a bit by surprise because I went in expecting something more along the lines of traditional theatre. The show is actually comprised of the four cast members Pat Candaras, Desiree Burch, Michael Cyril Creighton, and Jack Kukoda each taking an individual turn at the mike and performing a comedy monologue/set of about 20 minutes. But these are no ordinary “joke, yuk-yuk, joke” stand-up routines. At first, the material seems random, almost non sequitur—except that there are corresponding video stills—but then certain themes definitely start to emerge. Much of the show has the confessional feel of a 12-Step meeting, albeit with a twist: no shame, no regret, and certainly no apology. In fact, it’s a celebration of human foibles and fantasy, including embracing moments of public and private mortification.And, of course, sex figures a lot in this equation with the “f”-word only the beginning of the profanity. But sex and debating the visual aesthetic of the penis (with accompanying slide illustrations) aren’t the only topics addressed; self-image, identity confusion in general, stupid lies perpetuated by parents, and religion are also all referenced. And you know how most people are loathe to admit, and especially describe, their inane thoughts or fantasies for fear of other people thinking something is wrong with them, that they’re weird, gross, or just plain sick and crazy? Well, the people on this stage are not in that majority and put in our faces the most natural of acts, thoughts, and desires which, for God knows what reason, we might be ashamed of.Pat Candaras, Grandmotherfucker of the title, talks, for instance, about being a devout Catholic teenager in the '50s and having the patriotic sex fantasy that she would save America from those evil Russian Communists by offering her virgin body to Khrushchev. (Yes, Khrushchev.) She also admitted to having a crush on Castro because she knew that would piss off her father. Seducer Desiree Burch now eschews on-line dating because her email inbox inevitably becomes littered with penis jpegs from prospective suitors. She admits to having a disgustingly girlie knight-in-shining-armor/Prince Charming fantasy, except, of course, that he’s gay. He’s ALWAYS gay.Michael Cyril Creighton also discusses religion and praying. He prayed a lot as a child—prayed to grow up to be Madeleine Kahn, or Carol Burnett, or Mary Tyler Moore. He admits to a number of neuroses and inhibitions. After you’ve heard Creighton’s explanation of one in particular, you may never look at a Mr. Softee truck the same way again. Jack Kukoda doesn’t spend that much time discussing sex, although he admits that he once accidentally racked up a $700 cable bill watching porn on someone else’s account. In probably my favorite part of the show, Kukoda talks about his early down-and-out years in New York when he was spending his days buzzed on Bud by 11am while watching Quantum Leap marathons and becoming positively obsessed with putting on an act to make the giggling non-English-speaking workmen in his apartment think he wasn’t, in fact, a drunk, pathetic, unemployed loser.Grandmotherfucker & The Seducers will most definitely offend people of right wing, Moral Majority, and homophobic persuasion. Those sensitive to ethnicity issues and the PC thing might frown a bit as well. I, however, found this show’s down-and-VERY-dirty pathos to be refreshing and cathartic, even therapeutic—which I suspect is the whole point.